WASHINTGON, D.C. – 

The fear of running a red light or passing through a stop sign will be shortly become something of the past. All stop signs and red lights will be removed from the United States, replaced with yield signs and yellow lights. Congress has issued a mandatory removal of any stop sign or red light to be done no later than September 30th.

“Congress feels that our American drivers should have enough confidence behind the wheel to know when to stop their vehicle,” said lawmaker Joey Goldsmith. “At this point they are calling it ‘drivers instinct’ and believe that they can save a large chunk of tax payers money by not having to continue to put up stop signals, replace missing or damaged signs, etcetera.”

It is unclear if insurance rates will go up, but it is being enforced that drivers pay closer attention to the road than before, and recommend that people spend less time texting, eating, talking, and singing along to bad pop songs, and spend more time focusing on their driving habits.

“I’m so glad that I won’t have to stop so much anymore,” said driver Billy Carson, 30. “Every day on my way home from work, I get stuck at probably 4 or 5 different red lights – and I’m only a mile from work! It’s insane. Now I’ll be able to zip on through. Look out, everyone else! I’m not stopping ever again!”