LOS ANGELES, California –
In a 2015 radio talk show discussion about the period shaming of women, Rosie O’Donnell said, “I’d like to take my period blood I no longer have and write, ‘You’re all assholes.’ I’d like to smear it all over some people’s faces.”
According to various unreliable sources, plainspoken comedian and former The View co-host Rosie O’Donnell said publicly that she’d like to smear her menstrual blood all over either Christians’ faces or pro-life people’s faces — depending on which version you read.
Apparently, the comedian and former co-host of The View finally made good on her word, and was recently seen smearing her menstrual blood all over people in the street – anyone she deemed “pro-life” or a Christian.
“If they’re wearing a cross, then they’re getting the blood,” said O’Donnell. “If they look like they have a stick up their ass, they’re probably pro-life, and that means they’re anti-women and women’s rights, so for that, they’re getting the blood.”
O’Donnell was apparently able to throw her blood into the faces of more than 2 dozen women, as well as a few men, before she was tackled by police.
“It took about 6 of us to actually get her down, but once we did, she calmed down,” said police chief Martin Lewis. “It was a hell of bloody mess. She was wearing white pants. It looked like the elevator scene in The Shining.”
O’Donnell was released after a 24-hour hold. She is not expected to be charged with any crimes.
WASHINGTON, D.C. –
Donald Trump has reportedly squashed his long-standing feud with TV personality Rosie O’Donnell, and sources are indicating that he has asked her to be his running mate in the 2016 presidential elections. There has been no confirmation on whether O’Donnell has accepted the offer, but members of Trump’s campaign team say that they are “pretty sure” that O’Donnell will commit.
“At this point, Ms. O’Donnell has not accepted Mr. Trump’s offer to run as his Vice President during the 2016 elections, but we have high hopes that she will commit. She’s definitely got the mouth to be included in such a career,” said Trump’s campaign manager, Rick Turner.
According to insiders, the entire thing is just a “marketing ploy” to make the public view Trump in a more positive light.
“Frankly, the only reason that Trump would want someone like Rosie O’Donnell to run with him is because he can’t possibly win the election without some minority voters,” said an anonymous source from Trumps campaign team. “He could have chosen a black running mate, or a Latino, or other such minority. Instead, he chose O’Donnell, because she’s a big mouthed lesbian. That right there can account for a huge chunk of the gay vote, the woman voters, and even some of the blacks, just because.”
O’Donnell could not be reached for comment, but a close friend says that she would “love to be Vice President,” but that she has no intentions of doing so with Donald Trump as the man in charge.