In a new study by the Department Of Internet Relations, the word ‘gate’ has appeared more frequently online in the last year than ever before, as media and news outlets have begun adding the suffix to anything that they wanted to make seem more important or newsworthy.
“Gamergate, Shirtgate, Bridgegate, Flowergate, RiotGate, and more have appeared in national headlines over the last year and a half, and none of the incidents that were being reported were ever really that important,” said DIR spokesman Rick Facts. “Yes, some trolls got made at girls in gaming on the internet. Yes, some scientist wore a shirt with naked women on it. So what? Those things are not important. They’re barely even newsworthy, but – through the ‘gate’ on the end, and you’ve got a big thing, at least according to the media.”
Watergate, the scandal during President Nixon’s time in office that lead to him eventually stepping down from office, is the first major news story to feature the ‘gate’ suffix, but in a slightly different context – the hotel that the name references was actually called the Watergate, they didn’t add it on to make the scandal more important.
“That’s the difference between then and now,” said Facts. “Watergate was a real scandal, and a real securities issue. These things now, these people – they just throw ‘gate’ onto the end of a word and they want it to become the next big thing. Sorry, no. Feminists and internet trolls will never be to the level of a government cover-up, no matter what word you call it.”
Facts says that people should be forced to just call these things what they are – non-news.
“I hope someday that people will stop calling everything ‘whatevergate’ just to make it seem scandalous. For crying out loud, just report the news, and stop being stupid.”