Facebook Submits Names Of Users Posing In Pictures With Guns To Homeland Security

MENLO PARK, California – facebook reporting guns to homeland security

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg confirmed rumors this morning that the company would be handing over names and photos of site users who have posted pictures of themselves with guns to the government. Democrat leaders applauded Facebook’s move, stating that it is important to know who has guns in America, especially since many of the weapons that they’d seen could very well be unregistered.

Despite the excitement from the radical left, many Facebook users, regardless of political stance, were naturally outraged that their ‘private’ photos would be handed over to the Department of Homeland Security.

”I don’t understand what the big deal is, I mean it’s right there in the user agreement. Line 27 , page 134 of the policy that all users agree to when signing up. The subject clearly states ‘Any and all user information will be shared with Homeland Security upon request from the department.’ It’s right there in black and white. Or blue and white, as the case may be.”

When asked why Facebook would be so willing to work with the government, Zuckerberg said that he was just trying to ‘do his patriotic duty.’

“I added that line back in after 2009, when Obama took office. After he was elected, he came to me and asked for my help, saying that he wanted to ‘transform America,’ and he couldn’t do that until the country was disarmed,” said Zuckerberg. “This is a perfect way to find the gun nuts in this country, and keep a watch over them. I think the whole thing has been a huge success, and I for one can’t wait to live in a gun-free America.”

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Many people have already been informed, via registered mail from the government, that they are now ‘under watch’ by the agency, and that they had been flagged as ‘gun nuts’ on Facebook. Several notable website users, including Texas cheerleader Kendall Jones, who became national news after pictures of her big game hunts were posted to her Facebook page, have already been reported as well.

 “Yes, we closely work with Facebook,” said Homeland Security Director Brian Belmonte, confirming their partnership. “All we do is ask for the data, and then Facebook hands it over. We collect intel from many sources, but it’s just compiled data, there’s no need to worry. Feel free to go on with your lives, posting your pictures and every thought you have onto the internet. There’s nothing to worry about here.”

 “It’s right from the socialism 101 handbook,” said senator Ted Cruz.”First control the media, then add a heavy progressive tax rate. Those are both done. Next control people’s healthcare – oh look, we’ve got that, too. The last step is to disarm the public so they can’t rebel, which is coming soon. One more Democratic President, and the stars on our flag will be replaced with a hammer and sickle. That’s why in my campaign for president, my slogan is ‘less taxes, more guns!'”

kendal
Texas Cheerleader and famous Big Game Hunter, Kendall Jones, 19, has already had all of her photos reported to Homeland Security

 

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