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Bill Clinton Hits Talk Show Circuit to Promote New Book of White House Themed Erotica

July 02, 2014

WASHINGTON, D.C. -   Former President Bill Clinton hit the talk show circuit this week to promote his new book, a collection of White House themed erotica. Clinton's book tour actually parallels wife Hilary's, as she continues promoting ...

Headlines
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Michigan Woman Arrested For ‘Eating Too Provocatively’

June 30, 2014

DEARBORN, Michigan -  Lovingly referred to as “Little Lebanon” by many of its residents due to the city's highly concentrated Lebanese population, Dearborn, Michigan was home to a rather bizarre arrest this past Saturday when Katherine Murphy, a ...

Health/Fitness
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Researchers Find Chemical In Doritos Linked To Male Impotence

June 28, 2014

STOCKHOLM -- Swedish Researchers at the University of Stockholm released a startling report to their Parliament over the weekend linking popular american brand tortilla chip, Doritos to male impotence and a negative birthrate in Sweden. The mega-popular ...

Headlines
Empire-News-Westboro-Baptist-Church-Now-Claim-God-Hates-Jesus-Christ

Westboro Baptist Church Members Now Claiming ‘God Hates Jesus’

June 28, 2014

 TOPEKA, Kansas -  Westboro Baptist Church, everyone's favorite radical religious group, are making their presence known again across the world. Apparently, even the Son of God isn’t safe from the damnation of the Westboro Baptist family, ...

Headlines
empire-news-officer-suspended-after-handcuffing-3-year-old-toddler

Police Officer Suspended After Putting 3-Year-Old Toddler In Handcuffs

June 27, 2014

COVINGTON, Louisiana -   A veteran police officer has been suspended from duty this week after allegations that he handcuffed a 3-year-old toddler and put him in the back of a police car because he was "annoyed" with ...

Headlines
Empire-News-North-Korea-Aims-Missiles-At-US-Over-Seth-Rogen-Comedy

North Korea Plans Missile Attack On U.S. Over Seth Rogen Comedy

June 26, 2014

HOLLYWOOD, California -  Funnyman and film writer Seth Rogen has teamed up again with actor James Franco to make a comedy film that is pretty topical in the present day.  The movie, "The Interview," pits Franco and ...

Business
empire-news-fast-food-chains-brace-for-onslaught-of-fake-sympathy-stories-ugly-disfigured-children

Fast Food Chains Brace For Onslaught Of Fake ‘Sympathy Stories’ By Parents Of Disfigured Children

June 25, 2014

OAK BROOK, Illinois -  McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King, and several other fast food chains have been preparing for the worst, after a story about a girl with scars from a pitbull attack was allegedly asked to ...

Headlines
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Oprah Posts Bail For ‘Sexy Felon’ Jeremy Meeks

June 24, 2014

STOCKTON, California -  The internet was abuzz this past week when a mug shot of accused arms dealer Jeremy Meeks hit the web, making women swoon and men jealous over his movie-star good looks. Apparently all the ...

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