WASHINGTON, D.C. –
In a move that probably surprises no one, President Trump has signed an executive order that will allow white people to buy, sell, and trade minorities, as well as use them as non-paid workers.
“This is a game changer for our country, and for the economy,” said Trump. “If we can get all the Mexicans and the blacks and the chinks or whatever they call them now, and round them up, and have them work for free for white business owners, then those whites can afford to pay their white employees more, which will drastically improve the economy. It’s a win-win.”
Trump says that there are provisions that will help make sure that the minorities are still “taken care of,” their compensation will just not be monetary.
“They will have free room and board, and are to be provided at least one hot and one cold meal per day,” said Trump. “That is far better than the slave-trade of our fathers and grandfathers, when there were no regulations. They will also be prohibited from working more than 20 hours in a single day.”
The order is naturally being challenged by the ACLU and other civil-rights groups, but most Republicans say they are “all for it,” and are “excited” about the change.