BURLINGTON, Vermont –
Ice cream giants Ben & Jerry’s has said that they will immediately halt production of all of their ice cream and products until senator Bernie Sanders recants his endorsement of Hillary Clinton.
“We have supported Sanders since the beginning, and there is no better candidate to run this country in this election,” said company spokesman George Rodgers. “With this giant upset, we have decided that no one, Republican or Democrat, will get to enjoy our delicious ice cream anymore, until an agreement can be reached that Clinton supports Bernie in this election, and not the other way around.”
Thousands of people have been seen in grocery and convenience stores around the country, loading up on as much ice cream as possible before there is none available.
“There’s no way in hell that Clinton ever supports Sanders, not on your life,” said Sanders supporter Michael Glenn. “I love Sanders, but damnit, I love ice cream even more. And there is none better than Phish Food.”
According to suppliers, there is about 2 weeks worth of ice cream already produced and en route to retailers, but that all of the company’s 4 distribution centers have already been closed.