COSTA MESA, California –
Not to be outdone by Amazon, who recently purchase Whole Foods, Facebook announced today their purchase of Trader Joe’s, the “hippie lite” version of Whole Foods.
“Amazon may have Whole Foods, but we’ll see you at Joe’s,” said Facebook founder and CEO, Mark Zuckerberg. “Facebook has officially announced their purchase of the entire chain of Trader Joe’s Food Stores.”
Zuckerberg said he has been a “huge fan” of the store for years, and was happy when the company agreed to sell, reportedly for $800 million.
“I have been shopping there for years, any time I need groceries, it’s my go-to location,” said Zuckerberg. “I want everyone to know that we will not change a thing about the stores, with the exception of the color scheme. The awful greens they use on everything will, naturally, be replaced with Facebook blue. We will also be phasing out the delis, we will no longer be carrying wine or any other alcohol, and we will switch to using a single supplier nationwide, as opposed to using local foods. This will save us tons, and we will pass that on to you!”
The changeover of the stores will begin to take place in October.