STAMFORD, Connecticut –
After near 2 decade absence, patriotic muscleman Mr. America will be making a surprise return to WWE television, with an announcement that he would be headlining a match on Monday Night Raw, the company’s flagship show.
Wearing his signature stars-and-stripes mask, with wispy blonde hair draping his neck and a fu-manchu mustache flanking his chin, the leather-skinned wrestler burst onto the scene at a WWE event in 2003. He vowed to fight for what was right in America; to fight for the rights of every man.
Mr. America’s return seems to conspicuously coincide with what is being known as one of the worst Presidents in the history of this country, and many are thinking that Mr. America is here to truly make America great again.
“Well let me tell you something, brother,” Mr. America said, “Mr. America is going to run wild all over the WWE, and if I end up running wild all the way to the White House, and I drop a leg on some tanned jabroni, well you know I’ll have a hell of a time doing it, brother. Whatcha gonna do, when Mr. America goes WILD on you, Donald Trump?!”
President Trump is a WWE Hall of Fame inductee, who is close, personal friends with company owner Vince McMahon and his family.
Mr. America is scheduled to appear next Monday on RAW.