LOS ANGELES, California –
NBC, the company behind the hit TV series The Big Bang Theory, has announced they have begun negotiations with the cast of the show to star in a big-budget, theatrically-released film the company has been planning.
“Somehow, unbeknownst to us, The Big Bang Theory has really captured audiences, and continues to always pull in great viewer numbers,” said NBC CEO Mark Rutherford. “We have yet to figure out how such a God awful piece of shit show like Big Bang actually works, but it does, and we’re definitely going to cash in.”
The Big Bang Theory, which centers around a group of nerds and who make lame jokes about stupid, pseudo-science, is mostly unwatchable for people with actual taste, but appears to do well in the 18-25 age group, especially when you tie in the 18-25 year-olds who also smoke marijuana.
“We’ve placed the show in a prime time slot, not just for TV, but prime time for stoners,” said Rutherford. “We want these people to watch this crap, with its annoying laugh track and piss-poor comedy writing, because they’re bringing in the ratings. And ratings equal money. The more ratings, the more money, and the more money we’ll sink into crap like this in the future.”
Crap for the future is what NBC is banking on by creating what they say is a first in a “long line” of planned sitcoms turned into films.
“We cannot wait to finalized this deal with the Big Bang cast, and no doubt they will be excited to be the first from our NBC family to make the leap to the big screen,” said Rutherford. “There will be others that follow, assuming this piece of shit movie gets off the ground and makes the kind of money that this piece of shit show has.”