Pepsi Announces New Version Of Cola With 50-Times Sugar Content Called Pepsibetes

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MIAMI, Florida –

PepsiCo, Inc has announced another new product that they plan to launch later this year, following in the footsteps of their 1893 brand, which uses real kola nut in its processing. Now, the company says they plan to launch a version of their original cola that has 50 times more sugar than their original blend.

“Pepsibetes is going to be, essentially, more sugar than anyone should ever consume in one sitting,” said Pepsi spokesman Rick Harris. “It’s delicious, and totally sweet. We have spent years developing this particular recipe in hopes that people will enjoy a new, amazing drink that will really kickstart your day.”

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The caffeine content of the soda is expected to also increase, but Pepsi is reportedly not planning to market the drink as an energy beverage.

“We just want another soda option out there, to give someone who maybe hasn’t had a Pepsi in a while a new reason to buy our soda again,” said Harris. “Be sure to keep your insulin at hand, though, because this soda will turn your blood into paste.”

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