WASHINGTON, D.C. –
President Trump says he is beginning the preparations for deporting his wife, Melania, back to “whatever third world shithole she comes from,” according to official White House documents.
According to reports, Melania and President Trump had a bitter argument in the middle of the Oval Office, although the stories differ as to what caused the argument in the first place, with most sources stating that President Trump dislikes being referred to be his wife as “President Cheeto.”
“Frankly, I think it’s a sweet term of endearment from a wife to her husband,” said one anonymous staffer. “He really is taking it the wrong way. Now, of course, when she refers to his penis as the President’s ‘little Cheeto Puff,’ that might be crossing a line. But still – they’re married, you’re supposed to work these things out.”
President Trump said that he has been married enough times in his life, that “ditching one more won’t make much of a dent” in his life.