South Carolina Man Creates ‘Task Force’ To Battle Creepy Clown Epidemic

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PEVELY, South Carolina – 

A South Carolina man has taken it upon himself to battle the “creepy clowns” that have been sighted across the country. Pinto Colvig, 38, says that he is “sick and tired” of his town being scared to death by people dressed as menacing clowns.

“It is disgusting and disturbing to torment a town, and our children, in this way,” said Colvig. “It was bad enough when it was just them damn Juggalos running around in their stupid face paint. At least you knew they didn’t mean too much harm. Now, we have people who have put on full clown masks, suits, and they carry around balloons and knives. Someone has to stop them.”

Because it is not against any laws to simply dress as a clown in public, Colvig says that he has gathered a group of like-minded individuals who plan to cruise the streets, looking to “put clowns in their place.”

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“There are plenty of other people who are not scared of these clowns, but are scared for the people who live in this town, and in all towns. We will show them a lesson, and if we have to, yes, we’re willing to get physical. I have a lawyer on retainer, and he’s well aware that things could get rough, and we may have to make that call.”

Police have cautioned Colvig that he needs to not engage with any of the clowns, and that if his “task force” wants to act as a sort of neighborhood watch, that is fine – but no violence should occur.

“If anyone sees a clown – or anything or anyone – that they are bothered by, they should call the police,” said Police Chief Mick Forner. “Do not engage, as you do not know who this individual is, or what they are capable of. Simply get into your house and lock your doors, or quickly remove yourself from the area.”

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