HOLLYWOOD, California –
Mu’adh al-Kasasbeh, the Jordanian pilot murdered in the most recent video released by militant group ISIS, apparently transmitted a message of hope from Heaven yesterday. According to world-renowned spirit medium John Edward, al-Kasasbeh says that although he misses his family and friends, he is having a great time in the next world.
“I’m considered a martyr up here,” the psychic related, channeling al-Kasabeh. “I’ve got all the privileges of all those holy to Allah. And, I’ve got all the virgins that ISIS members would have received, if not for transgressing the Holy Word with all the innocent blood they’ve shed.”
ISIS leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, hit back with a vituperative attack on the pilot’s character, and accused him of being an American agent, spreading propaganda.
“He is not a martyr!” he shouted on ISIS’ official YouTube channel. “He is a mouthpiece for American propaganda. I can see him burning in purgatory, not in the paradise reserved for the true soldiers of Allah. Don’t forget – please like and subscribe to stay informed about the latest beheadings, shown live here on ISIS TV on YouTube.”
al-Kasasbeh issued a swift and biting response, stating that, not only is he screwing all their virgins, he’s been given access to “your dead wives, mothers, and daughters, even though those whores [who] were violated long ago.”
al-Baghdadi, whose relationship with his deceased mother has been described as “kinda creepy – like a Norman Bates sorta thing,” was secretly recorded sobbing, and repeating the words, “too soon.”
Medium John Edward says that this is the first time he has been contacted by a spirit without an audience present.