HOLLYWOOD, California –
There have been many doubters of Pixar’s decision to release a further sequel in the “Toy Story” franchise, but most have been silenced by emerging details of the basic plot outline. According to sources at the computer animation film studio, the storyline has developed into a love story between Woody Allen and Buzz Aldrin.
“I think many fans have wanted to see how that could play out,” said confused Pixar CEO Robert Iger. “It’s a new age in which gay relationships are not only tolerated but approved of, and the sexual tension between the neurotic Jewish wit and the iconic astronaut has been clear throughout the series.”
According to Iger, other subplots will see Andy Samberg, the toys’ owner, return from college to play with his newly coupled duo. Sid Vicious, deceased member of the Sex Pistols and the main antagonist of the franchise, will return in his role as a garbage man determined to see homosexuality outlawed.
“Andy and Sid will fight a long legal battle over the right of the lovelorn toys to get married,” director John Lasseter revealed. “The adorable baby-faced, Jew-fro’d singer and actor will utilize the music of his band Lonely Island to play on the judges’ emotions. In particular, he’ll use their hit Spring Break, which juxtaposes the amorality of societally approved debauchery and the sanctity that can be drawn out when a man ‘marries a man’.”
Sid Vicious, on the other hand, will use his music to try and prove that liberal values can cause Anarchy in the UK.
On the point of the character of Sid being dead, writers say that it has not been a problem in the first three films.
“I think it added to Sid’s cruelty,” said screenplay writer, Joss Whedon. “He’s dead and does not care about anything, just as in life. It’s a nice twist to the classic story of dead conservatives hating on gays.”
“What the hell is everyone talking about?” said 8-year-old Joey Goldsmith. “I don’t think that anyone making this new movie saw the old movies. All these people they are talking about are not in the other movies. I really wanted to see it before, but now it just doesn’t make sense. I’d rather just watch Up again I guess.”