Missouri Governor Jay Nixon announced today in a prepared statement the creation of a Police-Free zone within the city limits of Ferguson. The zones will be in neighborhoods with high a African-American population, and if successful could be a model for other cities such as Chicago and New York.
“It has become clear that the police are not welcome in certain areas of Ferguson. If a police car cannot be driven down a street without rocks being thrown at it or shots taken, it is clear that a police presence is not welcomed,” said Gov. Jay Nixon. “I cannot guarantee our officers safety in highly populated African-American neighborhoods, so if they don’t want us there, that’s what I’ll give them. I will no longer put police in danger, no 911 calls will be answered and no crimes investigated in these newly formed ‘Police Free Zones/’ They can loot and riot all they want in their own neighborhoods as long as the stay out of the good areas.”
“I applaud the Governor’s decision,” said Police Chief Thomas Jackson. “With the Brown ruling coming back and violence beginning already, we needed this ruling and we got it. Starting tomorrow there we will be corded-off areas of Ferguson with checkpoints leading in and out of the police free zones. Anyone wishing to enter may at their own risk, people trying to leave a police free zone will be searched and questioned. This move will not only make it safer for officers to do their jobs, but save taxpayers money because 98% of lawsuits against the police come from these black neighborhoods. We are hoping that this will help their community find the utopia they’re looking for – a place with no laws and authority, and no white cops to be harassed by.”
“I wont have to worry ’bout no police shooting my babies now, just because they wear hoodies and like to steal a little bit,” said Shanda Charles, a resident of Ferguson. “You see, for the first time in my life, I wont feel like a criminal just because I’m black. I don’t have a record, and don’t wanna be treated like I do. I’m sure the gangs will do a better job at keeping us safe that the police ever could, and that’s a price I’m willing to pay for. At least they won’t harass me for ‘driving while black’ while they checkin’ out my boobs.”