DETROIT, Michigan –
Local man Albert Farnsburn found himself in hot water after he sent his daughter to school with inappropriately shaped cookies. The baked goods were brought to Farnsburn’s daughter’s second-grade class, and caused quite a stir according to the faculty.
“It was certainly not something any of us were expecting to see when we came into work, that’s for sure,” said Vice Principle of Sequoia grade school, Denise Clammoth. “I’m not sure what possessed him to do it. These children already have a world full of vice and inappropriate behavior. It’s sad to see when a parent cannot keep to a higher standard of tactfulness.”
Farnsburn has maintained the situation was all a giant misunderstanding. He stated that the cookies were meant to be sent to his wife’s book-club gathering as a lighthearted joke.
“Look, I would never knowingly send my daughter to school with those cookies. It was simply a mistake,” said the father. He continued, “Every parent knows how the morning can be a blur. I simply picked up the wrong Tupperware container.”
Farnsburn explained the shape itself was originally a mistake that he was trying to make turn into a worthwhile goof. After making a successful first batch of treats, the father flubbed the second batch.
“They were supposed to be Eiffel tower cookies. I guess I got the batch wrong and they all came out looking like…. well like mens’ privates.”
Fanrsburn then decided that the cookies should not go to waste and would be a funny treat for his wife’s all-womens book-club meeting. Fanrsburn unfortunately picked up the wrong container on his way out of the house, and his daughter ended up brandishing 35 brightly colored cock-cookies at her class party.
Some parents aren’t so sure about the excuse. Said one parent “I understand that a series of unfortunate circumstances could cause a mix up…. but this is the third time he’s done this.”