HOLLYWOOD, California –
Those who grew up in the 80s and 90s are in for a trip down nostalgia lane. HBO has picked up a reboot of the classic TV series Full House, saying the new imagining of the sitcom will bring a whole new, edgy feel to it. John Stamos, Bob Saget, and Dave Coulier will return as the homoerotic threesome, together figuring out the best way to raise their four possibly-incestuous daughters.
“We considered keeping the original set up – three daughters – but felt that sex scenes between the Olsen twins would bring in a fortune of viewership,” HBO CEO, Richard Plepler said to the press. “The filming crew could barely contain themselves at the sight of those two going at each other with all manner of dirty acts.”
Unfortunately, the original dog, Buddy, died of lung cancer in 1999. He has been replaced by a golden retriever named Spuddy, who plays the naive victim of the family’s bestiality.
“Casting Spuddy was a tough choice, because Buddy was so beloved,” said casting director, Joe Antonelli. “We considered leaving him out of the series altogether. But we wanted the show to be as raunchy as possible, and what better way than including a dog?”
Critical reaction to the news has been unanimously positive, with the as-yet-unreleased show becoming the first ever series to achieve a perfect 10 rating on IMDB. All agree that, no matter what the screenwriting is like, the original actors will bring that much-loved atmosphere of the original series right back into our hearts.
However, the demographic of viewers is set to change, with the series set to be TV-MA, which is much dirtier than it’s original PG rating. Many parents have come out against the rating, and plan on “defying the man” by letting their children watch.
“I want my kids to grow up with the same lovable characters as I once did,” said local dad, Simon Poi. “We used to sit in front of the television with dinner on our laps enjoying those fun times. I’m finally gonna get to share that with my kids, and it will take more than reactionary censorship to stop me.”