Lay’s Potato Chips To Introduce New ‘Kim & Kanye’ Flavor

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ATLANTA, Georgia – Lay's Potato Chips To Introduce New 'Kim & Kanye' Flavor2

Chairman and CEO of PepsiCo, Indra Nooyi, announced yesterday that a new flavor of potato chip would hit the shelves in time for the holidays. The new flavor, ‘Kim & Kanye’, is the first flavor of Lay’s potato chips to be named after actual people. Nooyi says it was important for the company to stay in touch with modern-day culture.

“It was something we wanted to touch on, we knew we wanted to begin naming flavors after celebrities, but didn’t know which ones. We decided on Kim & Kanye, obviously referring to Kim Kardashian-West and Kanye West, because they are celebrities that all Americans love, and together they have a very unique flavor,” said Nooyi.

Lay’s set the standard for being the first potato chip company to introduce a flavor other than the traditional salted, original flavor, in 1958 when they introduced barbecue flavored potato chips. The company has since led the way in offering more and more variety of flavors in recent years with a campaign called “Do Us A Flavor,” in which contestants invent a flavor themselves. The 2012-2013 contest consisted of sriracha, chicken and waffles, and cheesy garlic bread flavors, with cheesy and garlic bread earning its way into the permenant line up according to sales.

The ‘Kim & Kanye’ flavor is a finalist  from the 2014-2015 contest developed by self-proclaimed chef Tanya Brown. When asked what her key ingredients were to this bizarre name of chip, she simply said, “A little bit of this, a little bit of that. A lot like what you could imagine Kim and Kanye tasting like if they were a potato chip.”

Other flavors in the finals, which are currently available for purchase, include bacon mac and cheese, cappuccino, wavy mango salsa, and kettle cooked wasabi ginger. Although the Kim and Kanye chip was submitted during the contest, Lay’s representatives decided that it would be a stand-alone flavor, and they would use it outside of the normal contest regulations.

“They told me the idea of the actual flavor being a bit of a mystery was intriguing to them,” said Brown. “I could not believe they agreed to stick with the name, and they actually told me it was something they had considered doing for quite some time. So they kind of pulled the idea away from the contest. Sad I can’t win, but the chips are still going to market, and that’s awesome.”

Some of those who have had samples of the new flavor say the chips have a unique taste. “It tastes to me like a combination of chocolate and butter pecan ice cream, and is strangely very good!” said John Osbourne of Brooklyn, New York. Others say that the chip is horrendous, and they can’t believe it’s even going to market.

“It tastes like straight up body sweat and lard, with a hint of tangy mint and…I’m not sure. Walnuts, maybe?” said Robin Waverly of Los Angeles. “It’s really hard to pin down. Whatever it’s supposed to be, they were really pretentious tasting, which I suppose what I’d expect Kim or Kanye to taste like. Then again, I rarely think that these contest chips taste like what they’re supposed to. So maybe it’s just me.”

The Kim & Kanye flavored Lay’s potato chips will be available at grocery stores one week before the Thanksgiving holiday says Nooyi.

Kim Kardashian Teams With Revlon To Combat Illiteracy

LOS ANGELES, California – empire-news-kim-kardashian-teams-with-revlon-to-combat-illiteracy

In a move to rival Paris Hilton’s career-spanning work highlighting STD awareness, Kim Kardashian’s publicist has announced that she has been named the spokesmodel for a new campaign to combat illiteracy, aimed at fashion-conscious children. The line of educational books, titled ‘Kim and me learn our A-B-Ks”, is set to hit both bookstores and make-up counters next month, featuring spelling and pronunciation guides that will help students by relating English grammar to various make-up techniques and color names.

The books will follow a distinct learning curve, allowing readers to enjoy whimsical nonsense illustrations as they progress from lessons like “eyeliner is good for meeting at the diner, but looking thinner is best before dinner” to more advanced material such as “I apply rouge before standing in queues”.  The illustrations, handled by British artist Sandey Sime (of “The Pick Me Up” and “The Idler” renown), each relate to the subject matter of their accompanying text. Revlon predicts the star potential of Kardashian will help drive the product line which combats one of our nation’s greatest challenged in education.

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“We want to make Kim’s name a byword for illiteracy.” Said a representative for Revlon.

The move comes as no surprise to Kim’s fans, who’ve followed her example by bolstering the spirit of cancer researchers across the world with their online support, and providing bulimia therapists a broad social spectrum from which to study the threat of body dysmorphia. In a recent weekday press conference, Kardashian met with fans aged 10 to 16, who wished to confront difficulty in reading together with their idol.

I’m not afraid to admit I get nervous being asked to read from the board in school.” Said  14 year-old Chandler Noxwell of Perth Amboy, NJ.  “Kim showed us that there are even words grown-ups like her have trouble reading, like ‘algebra’ and ‘water’.”

Several students were given an afternoon pass to attend the event, during which Kim could be seen reading along through pre-press editions of the books and sounding out some of the more challenging rhymes. Kardashian lead one student through the sentence “I shouldn’t rush when applying…my…bluss…”, stopping to quip “Well that’s the street pronunciation, right?” before laughing and hugging the child to her for photos.

Reporters at the event were also treated to a brief speech by the famous reality TV star, wherein they were asked to “understand the fear these children face daily in school, at home, in subtitles. The bravest learner is one who fails, but refuses to give up and tell themselves that they just can’t. I know this whenever I watch my husband work, and I want to support these kids as much as I do him.”

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