Infant’s First Word Horrifies Mommies at Play Date

SAN DIEGO, California – Infant’s First Word Horrifies Mommys at Play Date

11-month old Madison Fowler from San Diego, California, has been banned from play dates indefinitely.

“It’s all my fault,” says Diane, little Madison’s mother.  “Kids pick up what they hear, and I’m the one to blame.”

When most mothers would be celebrating their baby’s first word, Diane, 24, can only hang her head in shame, while cupping her hand over Madison’s mouth. “’Sh––stain.’  She’s calling everybody ‘sh––stain.  I use that word an awful lot when I’m changing her – her diapers I mean,” said Diane.  “Well, I used to say it, until the day before yesterday.”

Up until 2 days ago, Diane and Madison were invited to more play dates than they could keep up with.  But all that changed when Madison looked up into the eyes of last Monday’s ‘host mommy’ Jean, reached out to grab her finger, and said ‘s––stain.’

“I was so embarrassed,” said Diane.  Everyone stopped what they were doing and Madison kept saying that word over and over and over again — ‘s––stain, s––stain, s––stain’ — I couldn’t get her to stop.  They kicked me out and said I was banned from coming to any more play dates because of Maddie’s potty-mouth.”

“We can’t afford to have a bad influence here,” said Monday’s ‘host mommy’ Jean.  One child says something, then the next thing you know, all the kids are saying something and we just can’t have that.  I’m trying to raise Christian children here. We all are!” she added.

Meanwhile, back in Diane’s apartment, typical objects are scattered throughout — a playpen, toys, baby stroller, bottles, formula, and — to put it delicately — poo stains from little Madison decorating several dozen spots around her playpen and changing table.

“I feed her organic baby food that I make myself,” explained Diane.  I don’t like artificial things in food, pesticides and things like that.  She’s kind of – what’s the word I’m looking for?  ‘Explosive’ I guess is the word.  Food comes out of her like target practice.  If it’s a choice between no play dates and Maddie’s health, I’m choosing her health! Any mother would.”

There’s little to no chance of reinstatement back to play date group for Diane and Madison.

“They tore up my agreement.  They’re very strict.  One new mother was banned because her 6 month old drooled too much.  All the other mothers cross the street when they see me now.  I guess you get to really know who your friends are,” said Diane, her eyes brimming with tears.

“It’s not fair,” she cried.  “She’s just a baby and it’s all my fault and it was her very first word and I can’t tell anyone and -” Diane was interrupted by Madison as she threw her toy cellphone on the floor and said “s––stain.”

The young mother buried her head in her hands and wept.

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