Man Finds Single Sperm Measuring Over 2 Inches In Semen

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DENVER, Colorado – 

Carlton Moore, 38, says that he masturbates just like a normal guy – at least twice a day – but was extremely startled last week when a normal rub-n-tug caused him to ejaculate, shooting out a single sperm measuring over 2 inches in length.

“It was mind-boggling, really,” said Moore. “I swear, I thought when I came, I shot out some kind of dick tapeworm or something. Scared the ever living shit out of me. I collected it in a little jar I had, and brought it to the doctor.”

Moore was surprised to find when he brought in the specimen that it was, indeed, just an extremely large sperm.

“This is the first time I’ve ever seen anything like this,” said Moore’s physician, Dr. James Baker. “Individual sperm are regularly microscopic, and hundreds of thousands to millions of the little guys are shot out during each ejaculation. In Moore’s case, he ejaculated, and it was just one big one. It’s really very curious, medically speaking.”

Moore has said that he has been consistently masturbating ever since, trying to replicate the sperm, but so far, no luck.

“I’ve been having several great days in a row here, that’s for sure. My arm is getting a little tired, but it looks buff,” said Moore. “I’m also more relaxed than I’ve ever been in my life. Here’s hoping the doctors can figure out what this all means, but in the mean time, I’m going to keep trying. Just glad that I wasn’t getting oral sex at the time this happened. Gross!”

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