BOISE, Idaho – 

Representatives in congress for the states of Idaho, Mississippi, and Georgia are looking into legislation that would outlaw any vehicle operator having passengers with them. The states say that after cracking down on cell phones and texting while driving, this was the next logical step.

“We have seen the rate of car accidents and deaths reduced drastically since we implemented laws that would force drivers to stop using their cell phones while behind the wheel,” said Idaho state representative Joel Madden-[R]. “We plan to initiate new laws that would make it an offense to be riding in the vehicle while it is in motion. Under new regulations, no vehicle would be allowed to be on roadways with more than one person in them.”

Many state voters in Idaho say that the law is “outrageous,” and will never pass.

“It doesn’t make sense. I can text and drive no problem, I can eat and drive no problem – hell, I can put on makeup while I’m driving, and I’m totally fine,” said Miranda Jewel, 17, of Boise. “This new law will really put a damper on my Friday nights. If I can’t go driving with my boyfriend, then how are we going to drive into the woods together to have sex in the back of his pickup truck? Laws are stupid.”

Most members of congress say that it’s not about putting a damper on freedoms, it’s about making sure everyone is safe.

“Once we have a handle on these horrible in-car conversations, which have caused countless accidents over the years, we will move on to other regulations, including disallowing the sale of any vehicle with a radio, and also forcing car manufacturers to remove cup holders from cars sold in our states – drinking or eating and driving also kills,” said Madden. “We want everyone to be safe, and make it to their destination without veering into a telephone pole or another car.”

State representatives are scheduled to vote on the new regulations May 1st.