NEW YORK CITY, New York –
SmartWater, everyone’s favorite overpriced bottled beverage, say that they now have plans to mine into the melting antarctic ice caps so that they can get water that is more fresh, and always ice cold.
“The ice caps in Antarctica are melting, thanks mostly to global warming,” says Glacéau CEO June Hastings. “Because of this, we are able to get up there, and get some of the coldest, most refreshing water on the face of the planet, and it will become our next level of SmartWater brands.”
The company says that they are “overjoyed” with the effects of global warming, because it has led them to be able to get this water that would otherwise be unattainable.
“Currently, you’re paying $2 or $3 a bottle for our product, and it’s basically filtered tap water,” said Hastings. “With this new colder water, which is more expensive to mine, expect for that price to rise substantially, but for it to be totally worth it.”