BREAKING: Trump Tweets About ‘Getting Away With Everything’, Brags He’ll Never Get Impeached

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

President Trump reportedly made an “accidental” tweet that many are assuming was meant to be a text message in the early hours Friday morning, and everyone – Democrats and Republicans alike – are going insane about it.

trumptweet

The tweet seemed to be meant to be a private message or a text, although it’s unclear who the President was talking to.

It’s so weird how I’m getting away with everything. Dems have NOTHING on me even with all the shit I say and do. They’ll never impeach. haha

The post has since been removed, and there has been no public comment from Trump or the White House.

“Frankly, I’m not surprised. I mean, we all know he’s a piece of shit scumbag – he’s been proving that for years,” said John Morley (D-Georgia). “Now we’re just getting actual proof from the man himself. Even Republican friends of mine think it might be time to start figuring out how to get him out.”

covfefe

WASHINGTON, D.C. –

An anonymous, undercover CIA operative has come forward with leaked information about Trump’s late-night “covfefe” tweet, stating that is has a much darker meaning than anyone thought.

“It has been speculated that it was merely a typing or Swype error, and that Trump meant to type ‘coverage’ in his tweet, but this is nothing so simple,” said the source. “covfefe is the top-secret code that only the President can use to gain access to Area 51. It is only supposed to be spoken by the President to the agent in charge of the site, and was not meant for mass human knowledge. Frankly, this information could be extremely damaging to our enemies.”

The source went on to say that the same code has been used for each president, and that there are “no measures in place” to contact Area 51 and let them know that the codeword needs to be changed.

“Basically, this code will gain anyone and everyone top secret clearance into Area 51,” said the source. “And yes, we have aliens. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg of what is being held in those bunkers. If anyone know what ‘covfefe’ actually meant, they could conceivably bring down the entire US government. You definitely should not publish this information.”