Bill Gates Files For Chapter 7 Bankruptcy

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SEATTLE, Washington – bill gates files for chapter 7 bankruptcy

One of the richest men to ever walk the planet has fallen on some very hard times lately after sales of some Microsoft flagship products, including the XBox One and the Microsoft Surface, have severely underperformed.

With a net-worth of $76 billion dollars, Bill Gates was thought to be hands-down in great shape finically, but recent  reports are that Gates has secretly filed for bankruptcy. News hit the media this morning, and Gates’ accountants and investors are scrambling to figure out where everything went wrong.

He may have some overseas accounts, claim some investors, but nothing is certain at this moment.

A man who single-handedly built, scratched, scraped, and stole to build such a powerful company – and gained a lot of money by doing so – is looking at losing it all. This mean his homes, private helicopters, and perhaps even his company.

A financial advisor, who does not work for Gates, had some theories as to the downfall of such a massive fortune.

“I think it was pretty much all the lousy products they’ve put out in the last couple years,” said Myles Kennefic, a Wall Street financier. “Windows 8, the new video game system, and the Surface Tablet – oh God, the Surface – it’s like Gates couldn’t catch a break. Even putting the Start Menu back into Windows couldn’t save his fortune.”

Microsoft’s stock was apparently unaffected by the announcement. Gates himself didn’t seem to worried, posing for pictures with fans outside of his attorney’s office.

“Minor setback, no big deal,” Said Gates. “I might not have billions of dollars laying around anymore, but I am sure I won’t be going hungry any time soon, don’t worry.”

 

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