U.S. Tourists Report Seeing David Bowie Alive In Nicaragua

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GRANADA, Nicaragua –

Several groups of U.S. tourists vacationing in Nicaragua report that they have seen David Bowie alive and well in the city of Granada. All of the reports come from various people who seemingly have no connection, and all of them say that the singer was happy and in good spirits.

“It’s weird that he’d fake his own death and come to Nicaragua,” said tourist George Felix. “I mean, he wasn’t exactly at the forefront of any controversy or really in the limelight that much. He could have probably retired and done his thing outside of the public eye with no bother.”

According to eyewitnesses, the I’m Afraid of Americans singer was seen in restaurants and clubs in Granada, as well as walking along the city’s beautiful beaches.

“I think it was a marketing ploy, honestly, set up by a bunch of greedy media companies,” said another tourist who says she saw Bowie, Marcy Jones. “He had the new album coming out, and now they’re remaking Labyrinth, which obviously will intrigue more people because Bowie is supposedly gone. All these companies coming together to fake his death and sell more of whatever they’re selling – it wouldn’t surprise me at all.”

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