Upstart Company Designs Vaporizer For Use With Smoking Crack Cocaine

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NEW YORK CITY, New York – 

A new company based out of New York City claims they have invented a modified version of a vaporizer machine, used mostly by hipsters and often referred to as ‘vaping,’ for using in smoking crack cocaine. The machines, which currently use a liquid ‘juice’ that contain only some of the ingredients found in cigarettes, are often allowed where cigarettes are not, as they don’t contain the same types of harmful chemicals when exhaled.

“We invented a machine that would allow crack smokers to get their fix more openly, and with a more smooth feeling,” said CrackRockers CEO Joe Goldsmith. “We are all heavy vapers, and that honestly lead to some other drugs for us. I only ever smoked cigarettes. Then I got into e-cigs. Then vaping. And then eventually weed, and from there, it was all downhill.”

After an arrest in 2013 for smoking crack in a public place, Goldsmith says he “got his shit together,” and started CrackRockers.

“I took one of my old vaping machines, and I modified it heavily to be able to accept crack rocks,” said Goldsmith. “It took me over a year to get a machine that worked, but we ended up with was a vape that allowed crack smokers to enjoy all the highs that crack offers, but without tasting like you’re smoking plastic out of a homeless man’s unwashed asshole.”

Goldsmith says that he is currently working to patent the product, and that he hopes, with less-strict regulation on drugs in many states, to have the item available to the public within the next year.

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