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U.S. Government Finally Finds Loophole to Justify Banning Cigarettes

U.S. Government Finally Finds Loophole to Justify Banning Cigarettes

March 03, 2015

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  The compassionate, good-natured United States government has been seeking a way to justly ban cigarettes from the country for decades. Cigarettes cause an astronomical amount of preventable deaths, health problems, and annoyances, as ...

Headlines
Homeless Waitress Receives $1 Million Dollar Tip

Homeless Waitress Receives $1 Million Dollar Tip

March 03, 2015

SAN FRANCISCO, California -  Heartwarming scenes took place earlier today at a Denny’s in San Francisco, where a waitress was left a $1 million dollar tip by an anonymous philanthropist. The patron seemingly took note of ...

Weird News
Man Fakes His Own Death To Get Away From Nagging Wife

Man Fakes His Own Death To Get Away From Nagging Wife

March 03, 2015

NEW YORK CITY, New York -  In a story of resurrection and hope, Herbert Mancini, assumed dead for the past 10 years, has been found alive in New York. He claims to have faked his death ...

Business
Delta Airlines Forcing Customers To Check Large, 'Phablet' Phones

Delta Airlines Forcing Customers To Check Large, ‘Phablet’ Phones

March 03, 2015

CONCORD, New Hampshire -  Delta Airlines has announced that from the beginning of April, large “phablet” smartphones will have to be checked in with luggage. This will mean that owners of iPhone 6+ and Samsung Galaxy ...

Business
wendysking

Wendy’s Announces Merger With Burger King, Plans To Surpass McDonald’s As #1 Fast Food Joint

March 03, 2015

CHARMING, North Dakota -  In business news, Wendy’s has announced an impending merger with Burger King, in a bid to surpass McDonald’s as the biggest fast food franchise in the world. The move could spell an ...

Headlines
New Military Rules Mandate Only Accepting Recruits Born Without Hair

New Military Rules Mandate Only Accepting Recruits Born Without Hair

March 02, 2015

WASHINGTON, D.C. - New US military rules mandate that only new recruits born without hair will be accepted into the defense force. This comes as an advancement on the long-running condition of all soldiers having their ...

Entertainment
justin

Justin Bieber’s Birthday Would Go Unnoticed by You if Not for This Article

March 02, 2015

  MONTREAL, QUEBEC, Canada - Justin Bieber’s 21st birthday fell on Sunday the 1st of March, and you would not have known it had you not read this article decrying the cult of celebrity. Why does anyone ...

Government
obamabluesuit

Barack Obama In Blue Suit May Actually Be White President in Gold Suit

March 02, 2015

  WASHINGTON, D.C. - A fearsome debate has broken out on social media across the globe over whether Barack Obama is a black president dressed in blue, or a white president dressed in gold. Obama has long ...

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