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morgueemployee

Morgue Employee Cremated By Mistake While Taking a Nap During His Break

March 28, 2017

BEAUMONT, Texas - 48-year old Henri Paul Johnson was killed last week after he was accidentally cremated during a long shift at the Coroner's Office Morgue. According to police, Johnson took a nap on a stretcher after ...

Headlines
trump2

President Trump Plans 2-Month Vacation To Bahamas After ‘Stressful’ First Quarter

March 28, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  President Trump announced this morning that he would be taking a 2-month vacation beginning April 1st, returning to Washington in June, after a "stressful" first quarter of 2017. "There are a lot of things ...

Headlines
pope

Pope Francis Caught On Security Camera Stealing Food Placed Out For Homeless

March 19, 2017

VATICAN CITY -  Pope Francis was caught stealing food that had been placed behind the Vatican for homeless last night, causing many to decry him as "evil." According to Vatican Police, the footage was retrieved from a ...

Entertainment
berry

Chuck Berry Not Actually Dead, ‘I’m Just a Heavy Sleeper’ Says Rock Legend

March 19, 2017

ST. LOUIS, Missouri -  Chuck Berry, the man that many people say originated modern rock 'n' roll music, was reported as having passed away at the age of 90 by mainstream media, and the topic was ...

Education
devos

Betsy DeVos: ‘Dropping Out of School Is Best Choice For Many Kids’

March 19, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, who was appointed by Donald Trump to oversee the country's education, said today that she feels that a good choice for many children will be to drop out ...

Headlines
cruzmasturbate

6 States Vote To Make Masturbation Illegal In Ted Cruz-Backed Law; Is Your State One Of Them?

March 18, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  You probably missed it on your ballot last November, but a bill to make masturbation illegal was listed on the voter cards for all 50 states, mixed in with other major bills including ...

Headlines
cnn

President Trump Outlaws ‘Fake News,’ CNN Staff Arrested

March 18, 2017

WASHINGTON, D.C. -  President Trump signed executive order HS-666 on Friday, completely outlawing fake news. A memorandum to the order outlined specifically outlets that were deemed to be liars, and people who worked for those media ...

Health/Fitness

Woman In Uganda Confirmed To Be Over 200-Years Old

March 18, 2017

UGANDA -  A woman living in a village in Uganda has been confirmed to be over 200-years-old by genealogists, researchers, and archivists who have looked into the woman's lineage. The woman, who does not remember her own ...

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