PITTSBURGH, PA –

Police are reporting that comedian, actor, and convicted rapist Bill Cosby has been found dead in his home of an apparent suicide. Medical reports indicate that he took his entire stash of roofies, and collapsed due to cardiac arrest.

“Mr. Cosby, as we all know very well now, was a rapist who enjoyed drugging women and sexually assaulting them,” said Police Captain Phil Huxtable of the PA County Sheriff’s Department. “It appears that in an effort to avoid a prison sentence, one where he no doubt would have stayed until he died, he decided to take his own life by resorting to ‘hitting off his own stash,’ as it were.”

Cpt. Huxtable says that Cosby likely took over 150 Rohpynol pills, often called “roofies” or the “date rape drug.” These are also likely the same pills that Cosby used to drug and rape dozens and dozens and dozens of women over the years. He was found guilty earlier this week of 3 counts of sexual assault. Each count had a maximum sentence of 10 years, and individual fines of $25,000 per offense.

SAN DIEGO, California – 

Famed falled comedian Bill Cosby was rushed to a San Diego hospital after he was found violently beaten outside of his home. Police say that a neighbor called 911 after they saw Cosby laying in a pool of blood by his mailbox. A woman, whose name has not yet been released, has been arrested in conjunction with the assault.

According to police, the woman claims that Cosby raped her nearly 35 years ago, and that she felt it was “her time.”

Cosby has been accused by dozens of women of sexual misconduct over his long career, including several who say he drugged them and assaulted them while they were unconscious. Cosby, who was once the most loved man on television, has found himself the butt of jokes by other comedians who once idolized him.

Doctors say that Cosby is in stable, but critical condition. He was taken in with multiple broken ribs, a crack vertebrae in his neck, two broken wrists, as well as multiple contusions and cuts across his whole body. He was stabbed in the chest 3 times with what police say was a “very small” pocketknife.