Facebook Urges Users To ‘Quit Bitching’ About Privacy Policies

SILICON VALLEY, California – Facebook Urges Users To 'Quit Their Bitching' About Privacy Policies

A disgruntled mediator of the Facebook Products & Services page finally cracked this morning, posting a status that was what he claimed everyone at the company has been thinking; “Stop bitching about our privacy settings. It’s not like you even pay for this service.”

“We slave over these new apps, services, and features to make staying in touch with friends and family easier and more enjoyable. We even give the individuals a chance to decide to what degree they would like to be Facebook-stalked. So, we collect some data. So what?” said the post, made earlier today.

Of the 167 million people who have liked the product service page, many immediately replied that they hated being required to get Facebook Messenger on their phones, stating the terms and conditions did not respect their privacy.

“Oh, you want more privacy? Didn’t think that was your first concern, seeing as how you blast your friends’ feeds with a play-by-play of a fight with your boyfriend, of the food you’re having for dinner, and the consistency of the shit you took this morning. This whole entire website is based on voyeurism. You post every one of your stupid thoughts and inane opinions, but you’re worried about what we’re doing with your information. Really?

One use replied “STOP GIVING OUR INFORMATION TO THE GOVERNMENT,” to which the unnamed Facebook employee commented, “Oh, shut the fuck up with your conspiracies – Do you think the feds really care to track your weed runs, anyway, loser? Are you that important? If you’re carrying a cell phone, the government can track you on their own without our help, anyway.”

Until it was taken down, the initial post got a hundreds of ‘Lmfao’ comments, as well as several people saying they would delete their accounts and move to other social media websites. Most of those had responses from other users asking ‘where in the hell’ they would go, as they correctly pointed out that Facebook is the only social media website that people care about. The post itself had just over 97,000 ‘likes.’

In an email announcement, Facebook representative Erin Slate said, “Facebook has terminated the posting employee from his position, and have also deactivated his person account. We recently sent out a notification to users to let everyone know we care about privacy concerns. Obviously, this one individual does not speak for the company as a whole, even if we did give him full access to our page, passwords, and servers. We appreciate positive user feedback, and always strive to improve satisfaction. All the changes we make are to make our users even happier. Please see our data policy for more details.”



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