Following in the steps of former college greats like Tim Tebow, Johnny Manziel is working tirelessly to perfect his diction and stockpile quirky synonyms for dynamic touchdowns. During a recent press conference, Manziel talked about his future within the sport, looking ahead at a future in broadcasting.
“The reality is I’m lucky to be here. There are really, really talented and strong guys out there, and obviously I’m just not one of them. I can say some funny stuff, and make that ‘money’ sign with my hands, though. So I got that going for me,” said Manziel. “I have no allusions at all. I know I am built like an athletic Frodo Baggins. Now that’s great for Hobbits in a hairy foot race, but absolutely useless in the NFL. Thankfully, I got some pretty cool one-liners and catch phrases. Take ‘Johnny Football’ for example. I made that up myself. I can do nicknames for everybody someday.”
The charismatic college star couldn’t contain himself, and wouldn’t even stop to answer questions being poised by the reporters in the room. “I’m totally going to act like I can actually play in this league for now, though. Hell, I might even get lucky and ‘Tebow’ a few games. You know, when you win a few and everyone is like, ’What? How did that happen? That guy is a total fluke!’ That’s what a ‘Tebow’ is,” explain Manziel.
When asked about Manziel’s comments, Tim Tebow, a current free agent who has played for the New York Jets and the Denver Broncos, confirmed Manziel’s claim. “Yeah I got really, really lucky and everyone knows it. I mean, neither of us have any reason to be near a football game at all unless we are in TV studio commenting on athletes that are doing things that we will just never be able to do, or watching at home with some chips and a beer.”