Johnny Manziel Looks Ahead To Career As Sports Broadcaster

CLEVELAND, Ohio –

Following in the steps of former college greats like Tim Tebow, Johnny Manziel is working tirelessly to perfect his diction and stockpile quirky synonyms for dynamic touchdowns. During a recent press conference, Manziel talked about his future within the sport, looking ahead at a future in broadcasting.

“The reality is I’m lucky to be here. There are really, really talented and strong guys out there, and obviously I’m just not one of them. I can say some funny stuff, and make that ‘money’ sign with my hands, though. So I got that going for me,” said Manziel. “I have no allusions at all. I know I am built like an athletic Frodo Baggins. Now that’s great for Hobbits in a hairy foot race, but absolutely useless in the NFL. Thankfully, I got some pretty cool one-liners and catch phrases. Take ‘Johnny Football’ for example. I made that up myself. I can do nicknames for everybody someday.”

The charismatic college star couldn’t contain himself, and wouldn’t even stop to answer questions being poised by the reporters in the room. “I’m totally going to act like I can actually play in this league for now, though. Hell, I might even get lucky and ‘Tebow’ a few games. You know, when you win a few and everyone is like, ’What? How did that happen? That guy is a total fluke!’ That’s what a ‘Tebow’ is,” explain Manziel.

When asked about Manziel’s comments, Tim Tebow, a current free agent who has played for the New York Jets and the Denver Broncos, confirmed Manziel’s claim. “Yeah I got really, really lucky and everyone knows it. I mean, neither of us have any reason to be near a football game at all unless we are in TV studio commenting on athletes that are doing things that we will just never be able to do, or watching at home with some chips and a beer.”

CLEVELAND, Ohio –

The outspoken, flamboyant, controversial Cleveland Browns rookie and second-string quarterback, Johnny Manziel, has guaranteed that he will take the Browns to the Super Bowl this season, something that has never been accomplished in franchise history, and that this feat will earn him the Most Valuable Player award.

When asked about head coach Mike Pettine’s decision to start veteran quarterback Brian Hoyer over him for their highly anticipated season opener against the Pittsburgh Steelers, Manziel told reporters on Friday that he will be the starting quarterback by week 3 and stunned the locker room with his comments.

“I guarantee I will take this team to the Super Bowl this season. To shut up all the haters I will take home the MVP award, bring the Lombardi Trophy to Cleveland, and take my happy ass and a few beautiful women to Disney World. Write that in your little article,” Manziel said in a state of frustration when Louisville Times reporter Quen Caudill asked him about the situation. Manziel had been fielding questions all week about Coach Pettine’s choice to start Hoyer this weekend, and apparently decided to throw the press a bone.

Manziel, aka “Johnny Football,” broke several NCAA division 1 FBS and SEC records last season at Texas A&M and was considered a leading candidate to win the Heisman Trophy as a Sophomore in the weeks before the 2013 season. Florida State freshman quarterback Jameis Winston would eventually be named the Heisman Trophy winner after leading his Seminoles’ to a National Championship.

Manziel’s eligibility for the 2013 season was under question after reports surfaced that he had signed autographs for money in January 2013. On August 28, 2013, the NCAA reached an agreement with Texas A&M to suspend Manziel for the first half of the team’s game against Rice. Many believe it cost him his chances to be a legitimate Heisman candidate while Louisville Cardinals QB Teddy Bridgewater moved up the board in popularity past him. Manziel anticipated being taken in the top 10 during the 2014 NFL draft and slid all the way down to the 22nd pick by the Browns.

When asked about Manziel’s comments, anticipated Browns starter Brian Hoyer seemed to take the high road and showed absolutely no animosity toward Manziel.

“This is the NFL. We are all very excited about getting out there and playing ball. Football is a very emotional game and when you work so hard to be named a starter and don’t quite make it, it is a tough deal. Johnny is awesome, he will be a great quarterback someday. I ain’t mad at the dude, he is a gamer, he wants to win and he wants to be a winner. I totally understand where he is coming from. He only expects the best and wants to be the one to bring it.”

Head coach Mike Pettine seemed to be a little frustrated with Johnny Football’s pre-mature comments, and wasn’t afraid of holding back in his comments.

“I tell ya what, he is a rookie, hell he is still an immature kid. That boy has a lot to learn I can tell ya that. I love the kid but he can be a loudmouth, I think you all know that already,” Pettine said, the entire press pool laughing. “He is frustrated, he just wants to get out there and play, that crap he said about the Super Bowl and winning MVP, I will talk to him about that. It won’t happen again I’ll tell ya that. Brian Hoyer earned the right to start this weekend and in my opinion, it’s no contest. Maybe Johnny just had to, you know, go to the bathroom, and his words were misunderstood.”