Man Who Ate an Apple a Day Never Went to Doctor, Dies at 27

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Man Who Ate an Apple a Day Never Went to Doctor, Dies at 27

MIAMI, Florida – 

New anecdotal evidence has proved correct the idiom, ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away.’ Paul Slates of Florida, died yesterday never having had to receive medical attention. His parents say that he ate at least one apple every day, and that this had helped him live what may otherwise have been a life filled with illness. Instead, the deceased lived healthily until his death at the age of 27.

“Our Paul was never one to get ill. He made correct decisions in life, and especially when it came to healthy eating,” Paul’s mother, Amelia, told reporters on the scene. “We’re very proud that he had such a strong constitution, and that in all his life he didn’t waver from his commitment to doing what was always for his best.”

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Paul’s brother, Roger, confirmed that Paul had followed the idiom to the letter, and that he himself was aspiring to live up to Paul’s example.

“He taught me how to eat, he taught me how to live,” said Roger. “Now I eat an apple every day, sometimes even two, and I never go to the doctor either.”

The Slates’ GP, Dr Jerry Levine, confirmed that Paul had never been to see him.

“In all his 27 years, I never once met Paul. I saw Amelia and [Paul’s father] Henry sometimes five or six times a year, but Paul never came in. It’s a pity he’s dead now, because he could’ve been such a great example to my other patients.”

Initial postmortem results showed traces of cyanide in Paul’s system, which may simply be residue from the minimal amount of the substance found in apple seeds.

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