WASHINGTON, D.C. –
President Obama reportedly had to be pulled off of famed physicist Stephen Hawking after the two got into an altercation at the White House on Wednesday afternoon, say witnesses. According to other attendees, Obama and Hawking got into an argument about which movie was better, The Wiz or The Wizard of Oz.
“Everyone knows that President Obama is a massive fan of The Wiz,” said another guest at the dinner, who asked not to be named. “Somehow, when the topic of movies was brought up, Mr. Hawking began talking about his love of the character of Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. As soon as he saw an opening, Obama, of course, brought up The Wiz. From there, all hell broke loose.”
Obama reportedly began lobbing insults at Hawking, calling him a “crippled piece of shit,” and a “movie snob” after Hawking begin talking about how terrible of a movie The Wiz is.
“It was pandemonium. The President actually jumped across the table and flung himself at Stephen, who of course could only yell electronically and blink his eyes in protest,” said another dinner guest. “The Secret Service had to pull President Obama off of poor Mr. Hawking. Sadly, I think they took him away and beat him up a little somewhere else, privately.”
No lawsuits have been filed, but attorneys for Stephen Hawking have a “serious case” against the president, as many witnesses saw the assault.
“Plus, everyone knows how bad The Wiz really is,” said attorney Joe Lean. “I can’t believe anyone would actually like that movie. No offense to the President, or anything.”