Shoplifting Mother Blames Crime On Baby; Baby Gets Arrested

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WESTFIELD, South Dakota – 

A woman who was stopped for shoplifting at Walmart claims that it “wasn’t her” that put more than $900 worth of merchandise into her baby carriage, and that her 4-month-old infant is to blame.

“Jamal has him some kleptomania, and it’s bad, so bad,” said Ja’La Jones, 24. “That little boy be stealing anything and everything when we go into the store. I’m ashamed, but he’s my son, it’s what I gotta deal with you, know?”

Police say that store detectives stopped Jones on suspicion of shoplifting after they say they saw multiple devices sticking out from underneath the diaper bag in her baby stroller.

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“There was a PS4 video game system, some games, movies, a flat iron, and a 40oz,” said Walmart security guard Jim Olson. “We stopped Ms. Jones, and she said that her baby must have grabbed all the things when she wasn’t looking and stuffed them down there.”

Curiously enough, upon review of the store security footage, Jones was never seen putting anything in to her carriage at all; police ended up arresting her baby for grand larceny.

“He’s on a troubled path, but I think some time in jail might do him good, while he’s young,” said Jones. “Don’t want him ending up like whichever one of them guys is his daddy. All 4 possibilities are in jail right now. It’s a tough life out here.”

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