The White House announced today the President’s pick for Ambassador to Cuba. The President has chosen rapper Snoop Dogg, a decision that curiously did not seem to ruffle too many feathers.
“My choices for Ambassadors have been the target of right-wing attacks in the past,” said President Obama. “It’s true some of my picks on the surface seem bizarre. Soap opera stars and campaign contributors who know nothing of the country or even the language of the countries they are appointed to. What people don’t realize is that it’s more important to represent America well than to actually care about the country you’re in.”
Obama went on to explain that he spends many hours laying awake at night, deciding who should be appointed to which country.
“My choice in appointing Mr. Dogg as Ambassador to Cuba is a good one, as even far right racists will have a hard time complaining. Mr. Dogg knows the language, he has family from Cuba on his Mother’s side, and since ‘his mind is on his money and his money is on his mind’, he has never contributed to any of my campaigns.”
“I’m going to be a great Ambassador,” said Snoop Dogg through a haze of smoke. ”I love Cubans, especially the ladies and the cigars. Those things can be rolled into the best blunts on the planet. I can see it now, me and Castro, smoking blunts at the beach, talking about freedom and democracy. It’s going to be chill. I’m all about chillaxing, love, and the American way. Cuba will be the most laid back place in the world once the Dogg gets there.”