Boy Attacks Neighbor with Drone


DALLAS, Texas – 

Neighbors, Pat and Marsha Stuart called him Dennis the Menace.

The harassment allegedly started with petty theft and the boy throwing rocks at the house and cat. He was also accused of coming out in the night and leaving marbles around for them to slip on.

According to the Stuarts, the neighbor boy was given a Storm Racing Drone for Christmas by his parents, and now he is being accused of using it to terrorize his neighbors. After the drone “accidentally” collided with Marsha’s head, the neighbors then told police they boy had been using it “to spy and snap pictures of us in the buff.” Pat Stuart says he boy is lucky he did not get shot for these type of antics.

Although the 9-year-old boy’s name has not been released, it has been confirmed he was diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder, which basically meant, according to doctors, that “he is a little shit.” His parents do not think his antics are cute and plan to have him sent to reform school as soon as he is released from juvenile hall.

Girl Bitten By Octopus While Snorkeling Hospitalized After Tongue Grows ‘Suckers’


SAN DIEGO, California – 

A young girl who was snorkeling off the coast of California last week says she was bitten by an octopus, and since then has grown tiny octopus suckers all over her tongue and other soft tissue.

“It actually started on my vagina, I noticed I was getting little octopus suckers,” said Jessica Smith, 20. “I could live with it, to be honest, but I went to the hospital the second they started growing on my tongue. It was keeping me from being able to speak properly.”

Doctors say that it was the first case of an octopus attack of any nature leading to the attackee actually turning into an octopus themselves.

“Ms. Smith is very luck she came in when she did,” said Dr. Martin Groves. ” I am not 100% sure how long this would go on for, as it was a very serious infection that seemed to effect all the soft tissue in her body. Her vagina, tongue, throat, and even parts of her anus were growing octopus suckers. It is the first time I’ve ever seen anything like it, thank God.”

Doctors were able to treat the infection, but removal of the suckers that had already grown had to be done with laser surgery.

“We worked in very delicate areas to remove the suckers,” said Dr. Groves. “We estimate that we were able to safely remove about 98% of the suckers with no visible pieces remaining. There are some that we could not get due to the safety of Ms. Smith.”

“Honestly, I really don’t care about the suckers that they left behind,” said Smith. “It was a couple inside my butt, and frankly, if you’re going to have octopus suckers on your body, the ass isn’t the worst place, right? It was super hard to get a picture of it for Instagram, though.”

Design & Developed By Open Source Technologies.