Risk Of Exploding Gas Tanks In Vehicles Prompts Biggest Product Safety Recall In History

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TOKYO, Japan – Risk Of Exploding Gas Tanks In Vehicles Prompts Biggest Product Safety Recall In History

The World Automobile And Motor Corporation is requesting that all users of social media share and relay its message regarding a massive recall on all cars that run on unleaded gasoline. The announcement is the biggest product safety recall in history, as it has issued a statement warning that almost all models of cars are equipped with malfunctioning gas tanks, which could cause dangerous explosions if ignored.

WAMC spokesperson Yoshida Kakaruda said in a statement that the issue concerns a weakening rubber valve in the fuel delivery compartment of all gas tanks.

“Due to several fiery incidents, we at the World Automobile and Motor Corporation are issuing a recall on all makes and models of vehicles that run on unleaded gasoline,” Kakaruda said.

Just last week, a 2004 Toyota Camry owned by Abdul Muhammad, 32, of Waco, Texas exploded in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven, causing the death of Muhammad and a passenger, and causing extensive damage to the convenience store itself. Rahim Duhfur, 45, owner of the impacted 7-Eleven, said in a television interview that he feared for his life when the explosion occurred. “I believe Allah, he come for me, to take me home to, how you say, big palace in the sky. I feel fear of Allah when things go boom,” Duhfur commented.

Spokesperson Kakaruda made it a point to ask all users of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, to assist in relaying the urgent recall notice. “We ask all Americans to spread the word, and to share via social media and also all media outlets. There are millions of vehicles in use in North America alone. We request that all individuals who own a vehicle please call our safety and recall telephone number, (318) 947-9586. A representative will assist you, and let you know where your automobile can be taken for a free repair” Kakaruda said.

The provided number, (318) 947-9586, is the WAMC Safety and Recall Information hotline, and is based in the United States.

EPA, President Obama Seek To Outlaw Gasoline, Diesel Engines In Automobiles

WASHINGTON, D.C. – EPA, President Obama Seek To Outlaw Gasoline, Diesel Engines In Automobiles

For over a century, Americans have been getting from place to place by relying on crude oil and fossil fuels. You might say that it is a part of our culture; gas guzzling hot rods and slicked back hair have given way to gas guzzling Hummers and slicked back hair.  But now, a new emergency legislation, penned by a group of up-and-comers at the EPA, will make gasoline engines a thing of the past.

EPA Special Studies Chairman, Akiko Kim, explained the need for the new law in a largely ignored Congressional Hearing back in October of this year.

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“You have all these midlife crisis Corvettes, and these Over-Testosteroned off-road trucks out there, just belching carbon into the air. These people are Mongoloids. They are killing their own children and they don’t even care,” said Kim. “There is no accountability. I wish we could put them all in FEMA camps. Sadly, we can’t, so the next best thing should be done, and that is to take away their toys in an attempt to destroy the life they lead.”

The law would see all cars that do not pass emissions tests (including classics, which have been exempt up to this point) impounded if they are operated on public property. This new ruling would start in July 2015, the start of the government’s fiscal calendar. The auto industry would also be banned from releasing any further gasoline models.

Kim thinks it is a good start. ”These rich guys just cruising around in their classic gas guzzlers are gonna get a wake up call. And these automakers who have been killing us for years will find themselves out of business if they do not adapt. Electric and alternative-fuel vehicles are the way of the future, and they should rapidly become the way of the present, too.”

“I don’t care ’bout them fuckin’ tree huggers,” said long-time diesel enthusiast Joe Lee Roberts. “I’ll roll coal on the EPA lawn, and if they don’t like it, we can schedule a second amendment meeting.”

President Obama, who is known to be an avid supporter of all things environmentally friendly, is expected to sign the bill into law after the Christmas holiday break.

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