FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts –
Bill Belichick’s image may be seen on more popular sports websites soon, as whispers across the Beltway indicate that the New England Patriot’s coach is now a recruitment target of the political elite.
With the Super Bowl fast approaching, many have their minds locked into the strategies and game plans that will be employed by the Patriots and Seattle Seahawks. However, according to sources, some big-wigs in the political realm have their eyes set on one particular mastermind for a wholly different reason.
“Bill Belichick would be a great ‘get’ for any political party,” a Capitol Hill source stated. “Think about it. Football is the new opiate of the masses, and you have an entire section of America, an important voting sector, that love that man more than their mothers. To harness the power of sporting fandom and translate it to politics would be a surefire way to gain footing in the political realm.”
His popularity isn’t the only reason Belichick is being sought after, though, according to the source. “The way he’s handled controversy with ease is the envy of many on The Hill. Most of the political elite can be brought down by a single scandal. But not Belichick.”
It is true that Belichick has somehow been able to remain relatively unscathed. In 2007, New England was caught taping opponents practices, and escaped with just fines. Now, in 2015, the Patriots were found to be deflating footballs. The latter controversy was all be squashed only a week after it was noted. Anyone can get away with a single controversy through nothing more than luck. However, the Patriots leader has now survived two without so much as a hint at resignation.
The unnamed source continued by saying, “Spygate showed he had what it takes to survive a political storm. But Deflategate is where he showed that he has that impervious spirit of politics, and is immune to the ire of the populous. That shows true talent and any part would be lucky to have him.”
When asked which party has attempted to court Belichick, the source laughed, stating, “I can’t think of a party that hasn’t offhand. Maybe the Boiling Frog Party in Colorado? Everyone wants him. They want to make him President. And if he’s even remotely interested, they will make it happen.”