According to his record label, country superstar Luke Bryan has cancelled several recently announced dates on his upcoming ‘Kick Up The Dust’ tour. Manager John Deere say that Bryan is ‘too distraught’ to perform because he has experienced ‘severe loss,’ in the form of a rip in his favorite pair of blue jeans.
“This was not my kind of night, not at all,” said Bryan. “I was Doin’ My Thing you know – Drinkin’ Beer and Wastin’ Bullets. I like to do that during Harvest Time. Anyhow, I slipped down a muddy hill and ripped the crotch right out of my favorite pair of blue jeans! Man, I can’t even tell you how much of a Buzzkill it was. Those blue jeans are my signature trademark!
According to his record label, Bryan plans to push back the tour dates until a time when he is able to find a pair of jeans the comfortable replace his old ones.
“These were obviously not a good buy. I’ll stick with Levis next time,” said Bryan. “I know I’m going to disappoint a couple of fans, but they know that I’ll come around and Play It Again sometime soon. I’m a Country Man through-and-through, and I won’t let anything completely Crash My Party. Roller Coaster.”