Rhinoceros Born With Rooster Head Becomes Biggest Spectacle At Bronx Zoo


BRONX, New York – 

A Rhinoceros that was born with the head of a rooster has become one of the most viewed attractions at New York’s Bronx Zoo in the last several months. The animal, which specialists believe is naturally occurring after a rooster copulated with a female rhino, is approximately 3-years-old, and was found in the wild in Tanzania.

“We procured the Rhinoster through private channels after he was captured in the deserts of Tanzania,” said zoo spokesman Carl Grove. “After careful research and monitoring, we have determined that the animal is completely real, and not created in a lab. We believe that a rare, oversized wild rooster may have had sex with a female rhinoceros in the wild, forming what we commonly call the Rhinoster, or the Horny Cock.”

Grove estimates that over 2 million visitors to the Bronx Zoo have viewed the Horny Cock since his arrival in June.

“We are extremely happy to have this Rhinoster in our possession, and we plan to try and breed him if we can,” said Grove. “Only time will tell if the Horny Cock really sticks to his namesake.”

Animal Breeder Successfully Joins Sloths With Kittens

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky – 

A selective breeder from Kentucky has said that he has successfully combined the internet’s two most popular animals – the sloth and the cat – into one extremely cute animal.

“It took many years of genetic research, and plenty of time and effort,” said animal breeder Jeremy Richards. “Not to mention trying to entice a sloth to have sex with a cat. That was not easy. In the end, though, it’s all been worth it, because I’ve finally been able to breed a new animal, which I have dubbed the Slitten. Or, possible, the Cloth. I haven’t decided.”

Richards says he has been working on creating the “internet’s perfect animal” for the better part of 10 years.

“I’ve had success in the past combining rabbits and cats, cats and chickens, goats and beavers, all sorts of animals,” said Richards. “This is the first time, though, I was able to work with an exotic animal like a sloth.”

Richards says that he made the animal “purely for show,” and that he would not be selling them.

“I just want people to be able to admire them, but I don’t know their temperament or anything yet, so for now, they stay with me.”

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