Man Looses Over 400 Pounds Eating Nothing But Sticks Of Butter


PHOENIX, Arizona – 

27-year-old Martin O’Shea lost his parents when he was very young, and grew up in foster care. This, he says, lead to a lifetime of overeating, to the point that on his 24th birthday, he weighed nearly 550 pounds.

“I knew I needed to do something, or I was going to die,” said O’Shea.

Against the better judgement and direction of his doctors, O’Shea said he took to the internet to find remedies for quick weight loss, and tried several over a 2-year period.

“I did Atkins. Paleo. I was a vegetarian. I was exercising as much as I could, and nothing worked,” said O’Shea. “Then I discovered the Blue Bonnet diet.”

O’Shea said he began eating nothing but sticks of butter, sometimes eating as many as 12 or 13 a day, and drinking large gallons of whole milk.

“It worked unbelievably, and here I am, only 12 short months later. I’ve had skin removal surgery and I started being able to go to the gym to tone up, but I’ve lost 390 pounds on the BB diet. All I eat is butter, still. It works amazingly.”

O’Shea has said that he often has fits of vomiting and has to wear a diaper thanks to “loose bowels,” but it’s all worth it to look and feel like “a human being” again.

Land O’ Lakes To Release Butter In New, Odd Stick Form


ATLANTA, Georgia – 

Land O’ Lakes, a dairy company well known for their butter and margarine products, has said that they plan on releasing a new type of butter in a stick, with a twisting end, much like a giant glue stick that children use in school.

“Butter is a super, duper, pain in the you know what to cut and spread,” said Lakes spokesman Burt Honey. “You cut it and go to put it on your bread, and it’s hard, and it just tears the bread in two. You try and melt it a bit, and its too soft, and then you’ve got soggy, nasty bread. This product solves everything.”

Honey says that Land O Lakes has been working on the project secretly for over 20 years, as they didn’t want to “give away trade butter secrets,” but plan to release the item in the spring, just in time for what they refer to as “toast season.”

“Toast season is, generally, March through May, and that’s the time of year where people eat the most toasted bread,” said Honey. “We are extremely excited to have this new product out in time for toast season. We know people will love it.”

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