In a statement on her official website, Harry Potter series author J.K. Rowling finally admitted that she wrote the series on behalf of the Wiccan religion. In years past, many Christian groups were considered obnoxious for advocating that the books be banned from schools due to their potential for polluting children’s brains with belief in witchcraft, but apparently they were not as crazy as originally thought.
“It’s been so many years, and the built-up guilt has been like a rainy cloud following me everywhere I go. When I write, when I sleep, when I practice magic, when I go to the bank to deposit my billion dollar Harry Potter checks . . . my secret was like my Horcrux, and now I’ve destroyed it so my soul can be whole again for the witches,” Rowling wrote. “It’s about time that I tell the world I am a strong supporter of Wicca. I truly believe in its benefits as a religion. I wrote Harry Potter to please the Mother Goddess. They needed new followers, and they needed young followers. I wrote the series to manipulate young minds into believing witchcraft was real, and it worked.”
According to Rowling, the Wiccan community knew about this the whole time. In fear of losing followers if they released the series’ true intentions early, they forced Rowling to wait until it already fulfilled their hopes and dreams—a younger, broader Wiccan community. “She saved us. Everyone who reads Harry Potter or watches the movies supports us. Rowling donates a large portion of her money to our experiments and facilities,” an anonymous and active Wiccan witch said.
Rowling closed her statement saying, “I am deeply sorry if I have offended you with my propaganda. I hope that my readers, Wiccan or not, can still enjoy my work. And above all, I hope that this revealing information does not influence your opinions on myself, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and especially Hedwig.”
Anti-vaccination has become the latest trend embraced by the ‘natural parenting’ community. There are thousands of protests, Facebook groups, shared memes, and informative campaigns sweeping the nation. It is a movement spearheaded by parents who don’t trust medicine, and embrace natural living. Rachel and David Posey of Baltimore, Maryland, are one such couple, and this week they were arrested and charged with child endangerment after their child was hospitalized with whooping cough, which has a fifty percent mortality rate in infants.
Jenny McCarthy, one of the strongest proponents of the ‘anti-vaxx’ craze, was very vocal upon hearing about the arrest.
“This is criminal. They are forcing us to poison our children, and now they are arresting us if we have the wisdom to refuse. I may not be a doctor, but I know these vaccines cause all kinds of problems, and they aren’t even one hundred percent effective. Besides, most of these things we vaccinate against aren’t even around anymore. Why vaccinate against a disease that no one even gets?” said McCarthy.
Adacel, one of several drugs on the market for vaccination against Pertussis, also known as ‘Whooping Cough.’
Anti-Vaxxers across the country are up in arms over the arrest, and are taking to the internet to voice their displeasure. There is even a petition for the Posey’s release on Change.org. Mary Ruiz, spokesperson for the Center for Disease Control and strong proponent for vaccinations, has addressed the mass outrage.
“With the vast amount of knowledge shared among the world’s population, it would be impossible for everyone to be well-versed on every topic. You don’t get on an airliner and decide that you can fly the plane better than the pilot, who has trained for thousands of hours. Why then is it the norm for people from all walks of life to decide that they are more knowledgeable about disease than an immunobiologist?” said Ruiz. “Not to take anything away from the average citizen, but if you received a “D” in physical science class, you are in no position to decide what compounds are unsafe for use in the human body. We had nearly stamped out a number of deadly diseases, and now, many of them are coming back in full force. Ten years ago, we were fighting the last vestiges of these diseases in third world countries. Now we are fighting them here. Children are dying, and we have these anti-vaccination parents to thank for it.”
Anti-Vaxx parents aren’t letting things like facts stand in their way, and a large contingent has taken up visage outside of the Baltimore County Courthouse to express their outrage. One protester summed up the movement quite nicely, saying that the arrest has made ‘legends’ of the Posey family.
“The Posey family are heroes. It is sad that their baby is sick, but what they are doing, fighting for our rights, it’s damn honorable. It will all be worth it in the end. Every struggle comes with a price, but soon, our unvaccinated children will be allowed equal rights under the law,” said Brent Pine, a father of 3 young, unvaccinated children.
The Baltimore County District Attorney has not been amused by the circus surrounding the case.
“These people are criminals. Good intentions aside, we feel that they are directly responsible for this child’s illness, and I assure you, if this baby dies as a result of this illness, the charges will be amended to negligent homicide,” said Baltimore District Attorney Melissa Brooks. “Regulations are in place for a reason, and contrary to some people’s beliefs, you should not be able to put your childs health at risk over an unsubstantiated rumor.”
The US Government allows a certain amount of leeway with regard to parents raising their children in a manner that they deem fit, but even religion sects that consider modern medicine to be unsafe, including members of the Christian group The Church of the First Born, have come under legal fire when neglecting proper medical care for their young children.
Several years ago, a 3-year-old girl died when her family refused to bring in her to the hospital for medical care for a treatable disease. The family attributed the sickness to ‘God’s Will,’ punishment for not attending church frequently enough. The parents let her die. They were later acquitted of charged of child abuse. Experts say that Anti-Vaxxers are slowly moving the way of a religious, or cult-like, behavior.
“These people need to understand that years of medical training and science goes into these vaccinations. We are not injecting people, children or adults, with ‘experimental’ drugs or something, all willy-nilly,” said Dr. George West, pediatric surgeon at Massachusetts General Hospital. “Please, for the sake of your children, get them vaccinated. These diseases and illnesses are preventable, and they are dire. Whooping cough will kill your baby. For crying out loud, we’re seeing Measles making a comeback. We obliterated that disease almost 15 years ago. It’s coming back specifically because of these ignorant, uninformed families.”
The Poseys face one count each of child endangerment and neglect, and are scheduled for a hearing on September 2nd. A lawyer for the couple refused comment.
