Scientists at the International Glacier Study Project in Iceland warned today of imminent danger from the possible collapse of the largest ice sheet in history. The press conference reportedly left viewers speechless, many of whom left the conference immediately to warn their families.
”Ladies and gentlemen, the study of glacial science is usually measured in decades and centuries. Global warming and climate issues have changed that,” said Johan Jorgensen, chief scientist for the project. “I am here today to tell you of an Earth changing event. According to our research, within the next several weeks, a polar ice sheet located just outside the North Pole, approximately 7 times the size of Manhattan, will separate from it’s glacier and fall into the Atlantic Ocean.”
“This event could very well trigger a tsunami that would spread across the world, leaving many coastal cities underwater. This event can not be measured in dollars of destruction, so much as in human life. The resulting temperature change of the oceans will disrupt weather patterns for years to come, for those lucky enough to survive the tsunami. I urge governments across the world to begin immediately evacuating all coastal cities to locations no less than 300 ft above sea level.”
Scientists in the United States and Canada who have seen Jogensen’s research have confirmed that a tsunami of that proportion would wipe out most of the East coast of the United States, with most towns in Southern Florida being eradicated completely.
President Obama could not be reached for comment, as he and his family were aboard Air Force One on their way to an unexpected ski vacation in the Swiss Alps.