Man Sells Golf Ball Hit By President Trump For $87,000 in eBay Auction

Posted on April 29, 2017 by Bob The Empire News Potato

ATLANTA, Georgia –

An Atlanta man has reportedly sold a golf ball hit by President Trump during one of his many, many, many golf games from his first 100 days as president, for an astounding $86,985 in an eBay auction.

“I was pretty surprised it went for so much. It’s not signed or anything, just a regular Titleist, but it was hit into a sand trap by Donald Trump while I was watching him play a month or so ago,” said the anonymous seller. “He couldn’t find it, so shrugged, told his caddy to mark it as a hole-in-one, and then left it. As soon as he and his entourage moved to the next hole, I went in and snagged it.”

The seller says that he expected to fetch a few bucks, “mostly as a gag,” but was very surprised when two buyers drove up the price in a bidding war. He was even more surprised, he said, when the buyer actually paid.

“He sent me a paypal payment of $86,985 – and then another $4 for shipping costs,” said the seller. “I shipped it right out, then went and paid off my car and put down a huge chunk on my mortgage, too. Not bad considering I voted for Johnson.”

Anonymous Bidder Spends $3.5 Million On ‘Share A Coke With Trump’ Bottle

Posted on March 23, 2016 by Bob The Empire News Potato

ATLANTA, Georgia –

An anonymous online bidder on eBay has reportedly paid over $3.5 million for a bottle of Coca-Cola with the slogan ‘Share a Coke With Trump’ written on it. The bottle, which comes directly from the Trump campaign, is reportedly signed by Trump, and all proceeds go “back into the campaign,” the auction said.

“I am extremely honored that someone would donate that much to my campaign, and I am glad that because of the way that we set up this auction, it is completely legal and totally tax free,” said Trump. “Because the donator was so generous, I will also be sending him a 12-pack of Coca-Cola cans, so that he can enjoy the smooth taste of the best soda on the market.”

Coca-Cola stock dropped to all-time lows after the announcement, with most people falsely assuming that Coca-Cola sponsored The Donald. A spokesman for Coca-Cola says that there is “no way in hell” that they support Donald Trump, and that the company does not make its political leanings known, except to remind people to always vote Coke over Pepsi.

TV’s Punky Brewster To Auction Her Eggs On eBay

Posted on December 5, 2014 by DvanL

HOLLYWOOD, California –

Soleil Moon Frye, the actress known to millions as 1980s TV moppet Punky Brewster, has decided to sell something very personal on eBay. No, it’s not those miss-matched sneakers from her starring role; The actress, now 37, recently put her eggs up for auction on eBay with a starting bid of $10.

“I was hoping the opening bid would be more than $100, said Frye, “but I understand. I don’t have the eggs of a 20-year-old anymore. If I was a younger actress, like Jennifer Lawrence or Shia La Beouf, I bet I’d be able to get maybe ten or eleven thousand per egg. It’s much like how Hollywood operates,” she added.

Comments left by bidders ranged from the curious to the confused. ebayBetsy100 wrote “I was a big fan of Punky Brewster when I was a kid. If I use one of your eggs, will my baby be abandoned by the father, like Punky was? That would be so unfair to the child, no matter who the father is.”

Probuyer77 wrote: “I hope I win the bid because I want my daughter to be a famous person (or son). Will you be a surroget [sic] mother or will I have to carry the child? I would pay extra if you were the birth mother if I win your egg.”

Several users were actually more surprised with the fact that you could sell your own eggs on eBay than they were that Frye was selling hers. “Wow, I could probably make a fortune selling my eggs,” said eBay user quickcash666. “I mean hell, I get new ones every month anyway. I didn’t know that was allowed on eBay, or is [Soleil] just allowed to because she was famous once three decades ago? Celebrities get all the luck.”

Frye hopes her auction will bring awareness to the problem of infertility. “I’ve always been a trend setter,” she said. “I’ve always been unique. I was the only kid named Soleil in my classes all throughout school. Even if I don’t make a lot of money from this auction, I hope I can bring awareness to people facing reproductive difficulties. I mean, I’ve got three kids, so I know my eggs work just fine, but if just one of my eggs can complete a family, that would be enough reward for me, even though the money would be a bonus.”

Frye may get her wish. After completing this interview with Empire News, the actress was contacted by Michelle Duggar, star of the reality series 19 Kids and Counting. “They offered me a spot on the show,” said an excited Frye. “This will bring the awareness I was talking about and get me back into my acting, so it’s a win-win! They even mentioned a spin-off show called Frye’d Eggs! Their show is very popular and the Duggars said if the auction doesn’t go as well as I hope it will, they will buy my eggs directly! I guess the only thing we didn’t discuss was if I’m going to be, like, the 20th kid and counting or not.”

The high bid for Frye’s eggs was $477.01 at the time of this story’s posting.