Hate Your Job? Scientific Study Reveals Reason Why!


PORTLAND, Oregon – 

These days, the majority of people seem to dislike their careers, and the Oregon Health and Science University has found out why. After surveying more than a million US workers, the number one reason people hate their jobs is “having to deal with other people’s bullshit.”

Other reasons such as lack of pay, lack of fulfillment, and too little vacation time were cited, the overwhelming majority of people hate their jobs due to the people they work with, the people they work for, or the public that they have to put up with.

Expert Adam Lachance, who worked on the study, says it is a hopeless situation.

“There is no escaping people’s bullshit. No matter what field you are in, you are guaranteed to run into it at least 3 to 5 times a day,” said Lachance. “More if you find yourself in a career that puts you in direct contact with the public, and upwards of 30 to 40 times a day if you find yourself in the unfortunate career of working in a call center.”

Lachance says the careers with the least amount of bullshit to deal with include coma patient, funeral attendant, and unbelievably, car salesman.

Man Who Grows Lion Mane Immediately Promoted At New York Law Firm


NEW YORK CITY, New York – 

Until last month, John Gold was just a mailroom associate at one of the biggest law firms in Manhattan, but all that changed when Gold decided to grow out his facial hair and have his hair dyed and cut to resemble that of a lion.

“I was just trying something new, but when I walked into work that Monday morning, I was immediately pulled aside,” said Gold. “I got taken into a big, inner office, and was immediately offered a job as an attorney.”

Despite knowing absolutely nothing about law, Gold took the job, saying that he couldn’t possibly pass up the opportunity – or the money.

“The only caveat they gave me was that I could never, ever cut or change my hair or my style,” said Gold. “I guess they think I’m going to be intimidating in the courtroom. I only hope that’s the case. The only thing I know about court is that ‘the whole damn thing is out of order.'”

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