HOLLYWOOD, California –
Miramax announced today a remake or the 1993 hit film Sleepless in Seattle, and Meg Ryan has already signed on to the project. Filming is expected to begin in early spring.
“We are excited to remake Sleepless, and add in a little modern day twist,” said Louis DeCarlo, Miramax Executive. ”Meg Ryan will be playing her original role as Annie Reed, but now she is a 53-year-old widower. Her daughter, without her knowledge, will sign her up on a cougar dating site. Of the hundreds of replies one will stick out, a 37-year-old man from Seattle, played by Colin Hanks. Thats all I want to give away now, but I can tell you there will be a meeting on top of the Empire State Building on Valentine’s day.”
“I’m really excited to make this film over again. To be honest, my phone’s not exactly ringing off the hook anymore with starring roles,” said Meg Ryan. ”In Hollywood, once you lose your looks, all thats left to play is the nosy neighbor or a crazy cat lady. Or I suppose, in this case, a cougar.”
“This is my biggest role yet,” said Colin Hanks, when asked about preparing for the remake. “It’s been hard, sometimes, living in my father’s [Tom Hanks] shadow. This was a big hit for Dad, so I’m really hoping this remake launches my career to the next level.”
“Why don’t they leave classics alone for God’s sake?” said online reviewer and movie buff Carmine Classi. ”I mean, come on – Meg Ryan? I think we would all like to remember her as young, sex, and great jerk-off material. She’s aged worse than a pig in shit, or whatever that metaphor is. I can tell you right now, it ain’t pretty. I’d believe her as a cougar, but I don’t believe Colin Hanks as an interested young man.”