LOS ANGELES, California –
Petite actress, Alison Brie, known for her roles in Mad Men and Community, has shocked Instagram followers by revealing her current figure – eighty pounds heavier than the last time she was seen. The photo was captioned, “Work I’ve gone to in prepping for new movie has payed [sic] off. Bigger is not always better!”
Brie will play an overweight former model in Get Hard an upcoming comedy about a businessman (played by Will Ferrell) who enlists a never-before jailed black man (Kevin Hart) to prepare him for life behind bars. Brie will only make a brief cameo appearance, in a flashback in which Ferrell’s character reminisces about the time he fucked a hideous fatso just to prove a point to his mother.
“Alison is very much a method actor and really committed to her work,” said former Mad Men co-star Elisabeth Moss, who herself gained sixty pounds for a plot point in season one of the hit series. “She usually plays annoying characters, and for years she’s been annoying the shit out of people in real life, so that when she’s on screen she can pull off the necessary squeals and anal retentiveness which have characterised her roles.”
Friends and family of Alison, however, indicated that her growth may not be as innocent as the little lady seems. Their gut feeling was that “she’s been comfort eating, ever since losing the fight against anorexia. It’s hard to watch, and especially hard to swallow – not that she has any problem with that.”
Joel Mchale, former Community co-star and acerbic host of E! Entertainment gossip show The Soup, used the platform to make fun of the usually tiny and delicate actress.
“Alison Brie seems to think she’s Jared Leto,” he drawled in his unsympathetic monotone. “Putting disproportionate effort into little (or in this case, not so little) roles in mediocre movies. Talking about disproportionate, have you seen the way the fat squeezes into that miniscule frame? Seriously, the Michelin Man should be worried about his job security.”