Man Arrested After Going On Murder Spree, Killing Over 30 Registered Sex Offenders

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OMAHA, Nebraska – 

A Nebraska man was arrested after he was caught in the act of strangling someone to death in an alley outside of a Omaha McDonald’s, police say. According to reports, Joel Miller, 42, was arrested for assault and attempted murder, and during questioning admitted that he had killed more than 30 people already, all of them registered sex offenders.

“I’ve been killing pedos and perverts for, damn, close to 15 years now,” said Miller. “Started when I was 26 or so, after a girl I was dating was raped and murdered. I tracked the guy down myself, slit his throat. I realized I had a real knack for it after that, so I kept going.”

Miller says that he wishes he hadn’t gotten caught, because he has a list of at least 3 more local “perverts” that he wanted to “knock off.”

“A friend of mine – we go way back – his daughter was molested by his babysitter’s boyfriend. Everyone knew he did it. The police couldn’t prove it. The girl, she’s only 7, she clammed right up. Barely spoken since, and she won’t admit it. Well, I did the world a favor when I cut his dick off and rammed it down his throat.”

Police say that, despite the “positive” nature of the crimes, Miller will still be more than likely sentenced to death for his crimes.

Ohio High School Makes Female Students Dress ‘Slutty’ In Efforts To Teach Boys Better Manners

OGBERG, Ohio – Ohio High School Makes Female Students Dress 'Slutty' In Efforts To Teach Boys Better Manners

Ogberg High has recently implemented a mandatory dress code that evoked several emotions, including confusion and disgust, among the citizens of Ogberg Ohio.

The midwest high school implemented a dress code in September that requires its female students to dress ‘immodestly’ at all times while on school grounds. School Officials say the purpose of the new dress code is to teach male students how to behave responsibly around women.

Josh Young, an appointed Ogberg High spokesperson, explained the new dress code. “The idea to have the girls dress like baby prostitutes originally came from our principal Larry Lackerstrom. He wanted to figure out a way to teach the boys to respect woman, and refrain from inappropriate behaviors.”

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The dress code has obviously caused issues with several parents of Ogberg High Students.  One mother transferred her daughter to another Ohio school after refusing to force her daughter to follow the mandatory dress code. The mother said “My daughter is morbidly obese, and is extremely uncomfortable wearing the type of clothing outlined in the schools official dress code. When I explained my daughter’s severe body image issues to Principal Lackerstrom, he had zero compassion, he told me that no exceptions would be made. She doesn’t want to wear cut off shorts and see-through shirts. There’d be so much to see!”

The Ogberg official dress code says that skirts must be at least 4 hands above the knee, crotchless rubber pants are allowed, fishnet stockings must be worn if wearing high heels – which themselves must be over 5 inches in height, half-tees can be worn as long as they are light-colored or white and see-through, 2-piece bathing suits are allowed, short shorts can be worn if they are paired with high socks, or any revealing costume purchased from Nip Slip, Ogberg’s local sex shop.

Principal Lackerstrom commented on what the results of the dress code have been thus far. “As you can imagine, we had a lot of sexual harassment issues the first few months, however we are working through these issues and have made a lot of progress in shaping these young boys into respectful young men. By the time they have graduated from this school, they will be so used to seeing half-naked girls that they will have no reason to even look twice out there in the real world.”

“Frankly, I love the new dress code,” said Miranda Carver, a Freshman at Ogberg High School. “Last year, in 8th grade, the boys didn’t notice me at all. I happened to have a decent growth spurt over last summer, so when this school year started, the new dress code really got me some notice, especially when I wear the see-through tops. My Friday nights are always full, now. Lots of things are full now, if you know what I mean.”

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