BREAKING: Fidel Castro No Longer Cuban President

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CUBA – 

Startling news came through this morning that Fidel Castro is no longer Cuba’s dictator. American intelligence made the revelation that Castro stepped down from the “presidency” in 2008, and the country has secretly been ruled by his brother Raúl since then. Even meetings between the two countries have primarily taken place between Barack Obama and Raúl Castro. This shocking news is set to rock international relations, especially in the region.

“Our sources are foolproof, and we have confirmed what until now no one suspected,” an intelligence agent told Empire News, on condition of anonymity. “During a routine Wikipedia scouring, we found the information hidden among reams of text detailing the political careers of both Fidel and Raúl. We immediately reported to the Office of the President, the CIA, Interpol, and the UN.”

Fidel Castro has been a thorn in America’s side for decades, and Raúl’s transition to presidency may be a good thing for the US.

“As we speak, information about Raúl Castro is being uncovered at a remarkable pace,” the source continued. “Wikipedia contains tons of information on the current Cuban president, which you’ll find if you know to look in the right places. It’s just incredible stuff that’s coming through. We just need to find citations for some of the info, and we can move forward from there.”

Who is Raúl Castro?

Raúl Castro served as a commander in the Cuban Revolution. He has had a long political career, culminating in his taking over of the presidency in 2008. The 83 year old is expected to serve as president of the country until 2018, barring any further spectacular developments as we have seen today.

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